How to Reinvent Yourself for the Future You Want
My friend declared that she was "meditating her way to success."
On the phone, I heard the sound of scraping a pan. It sounded like cooking.
My friend doesn't cook.
She is very proud of this fact. She declares regularly, loudly, and frequently that the only thing she has ever cooked in her life is chai tea.
She eats take-out food. In the past, her partners have been the cooks. But now, she is single. And she is unhappy with her weight.
"It sounds like you are cooking!" I said.
"Yes, I am," she proudly declared. "I'm making a stir-fry. And yesterday, when the contractor was here, I sent him home with a homemade strawberry shortcake. And I made chili last week!"
This was a complete about-turn from the person I knew, the habits, and self-proclaimed identity.
I was impressed and asked her what had inspired all of this.
"I am meditating on the person I want to become. And being that person now.”
“I am stepping right into that person and being that person. And part of that person I want to become is slim, healthy, and fit. What are the habits of that person? Well, one habit is to eat well. That means cooking for myself."
So simple. And yet so challenging. Why is that?
We identify with our habits.
Often we don't even notice our habits, they are a part of who we think ourselves to be.
We hang on to these habits as a part of a sense of "I am."
We might not even notice how these habits are interfering with our dreams and goals.
Our habits are easy. They are often the default way we do things. We don't have to think about how to do these things, we just do them.
Acquiring new habits is difficult. We have to learn new skills, overrule preferences, and do things we don't feel like doing. Sometimes it's basically about overcoming inertia and laziness.
So, how do you meditate your way to who you want to be?
The idea is to picture your reinvented self, who that person is, what that person is accomplishing, and the rewards of that.
Meditate on being that person until you convince yourself you are that person right now.
Then consider what habits you have in place as that person. Start doing those things.
Inspired by my friend, I considered some of the places I could pull up my socks.
One of these is in prioritizing a few accomplishments to focus on and doing those. I tend to want to do it all and of course, cannot.
I recently read the outline of a summit geared towards being a more successful business owner.
It was all about planning your time more effectively. Big picture goals and quarterly goals and weekly goals and daily goals.
Just reading it made me feel exhausted. "That's not me," I'd thought. "No, I need to let time flow."
Now, I am reconsidering this idea, inspired by my friend. I realize that in "letting time flow" I actually burden myself with 10x the number of things possible and so am not really accountable to any of them.
Maybe, just like her, I can step into a new set of habits in service of my goal.