It Takes a Village — But Where are the Villages?
When I visited an old friend recently, I learned a lot from his spirit and determination — and from the community he is surrounded by.
My friend has Parkinson's Disease.
He refuses to succumb to the dictates of the disease. He lives in his own home in the country and heats with firewood. He grows his own vegetables and raises chickens.
He stumbles around. He falls often. He recently cut his ankle pretty deep. He can no longer eat on his own and needs to be spoon-fed. He is starting to choke. He cannot speak. He can utter only the barest whisper and it is hard to understand what he is saying.
Yet, he keeps going. Fiercely independent.
When I visited, I found him looked after by three caretakers who rotate their ministrations over the course of the week.
These kind and soulful women make his meals, feed him, wash his clothes and help him with his garden. They provide comfort and companionship. With genuine consideration and care they allow him the dignity of his life.
A while ago, a popular expression was, “it takes a village.” It takes a village to raise a child.
It also takes a village to end life with dignity.
Most of us do not live in villages. We think we can function in the faceless city and we think we are free. Free of constraints. Free to live the way we want. We do not consider the cost.
The cost of living without a village is that the community is not there when we need it. When we become old and weak, we will have nothing left to harvest.
We do not need to wait for our day of reckoning to recognize that we need others. Not just our friends and family, but also the cohesive network that a stable community offers.
As I returned home after visiting my friend, I reflected on this missing element in my life. Yes, I have been involved in various projects and volunteering with the community in which I live.
However, could I count on the kindness of neighbors in times of need?
This, it seems to me, is the strength of a village. And most of us no longer have this in our lives.