How to Train Your Mind to Worry Less
My husband and I recently sold our house, collected what we wanted to keep into a 10 x 10 storage unit, and sold or gave away everything else. A major down-size and change of life.
My husband spent the whole time worrying. He worried that we wouldn’t get it done. He worried about what would happen to the stuff. He worried that we wouldn’t have time to properly clean the house before transferring it to the new owners. He worried about life after the house sale.
He didn’t sleep well.
And how about me - did I worry? I can’t say that I never worried. In fact, at times I was completely terrified. “What the heck are we doing?”, I’d sometimes ask myself. “Will we regret this forever?”
The difference was that my worries didn’t take over and dominate my thoughts day and night.
They surfaced at times and then I put them away. I tucked them into a little drawer of my mind that I only opened once in a while.
Further down in this article, I’m going to tell you how I do that.
So, back to our downsizing story. We got everything done with time to spare. We stayed with friends to recuperate. Then we went traveling.
Worry is a habit of the mind.
The things we worry about are not real. They are projections into the future of worst-case scenarios.
And, what did all that worrying accomplish?
From the perspective of the worrier, this mental pattern holds a purpose. Because of how the brain operates, it seems like hazards are being avoided. There is a perception of control over potential perils.
The effect on the brain is a mental pathway, like a rut in the grass where people take a shortcut. The more treading, the more it is deepened and widened. This can become a default pattern in the brain. It grows and widens to encompass more contexts and situations.
Worry can become addictive.
There are three keys to unchaining yourself from worry:
1. Become aware of it.
2. Detach from it.
3. Train your mind.
Become aware of worry.
How often do you worry, and about what? Are you a chronic worrier, with every little deviation from normal, every uncertainty, a seed to sprout a field of worry weeds?
Or do only certain things trigger worry for you?
Do you worry at particular times of the day?
Detach yourself from worry.
The first step to deviate from the path of worry is to become aware that worry is not actually averting harm.
This was apparent to my husband after we had sold the house and everything turned out fine.
Realize that worry is futile — it will not modify the outcome.
Train your mind.
It is very tempting to just run your mind on default as that is where the mind goes when it is not being tended to. However, the worry pattern needs to be avoided. Avoid deepening the rut in the grass.
One potent way to stop treading down the worry path is to just allow yourself to worry for only a few minutes each day. Give it an opportunity to run wild. Then, at all other times, deviate from that pathway.
Eventually, the grass will grow over the rut, the path will disappear, and you will be free to be so much more than a worrying mind.
OK, How do you do that?
OK, you might be asking yourself, but HOW?
And, especially, at night in bed? That always seems to be the time when all the worries come out in force, trooping in front of you like one long giant parade.
The answer is, using Mental Mastery. These are tools I use and teach to take charge of the mind, rather than allowing whatever thoughts the mind is dishing out to take charge of you.
And I’m sharing a great tool for you to use!
Download the guide below.